It is that time of year that my family spent happy or grieving. Most times I think we do both. My dad was killed in a car accident around Christmas time, and he left us this earth on December 24th, 1987. His death has left me with many questions about the court case, the doctors and decisions. We never thought to getting a medmal agency to look into the case.Ever since then the traditions in my life left with him as well. They say every group needs a leader. As far as I know my father was a great leader in our family. He was good with establishing traditions, and sticking with them. We all did what he wanted and didn't even question it. Now a day, not only my kids questioned everything that we do, they have opinions too!
Getting back to Dad, it was really good for me growing up with the traditions my dad established. It was stability, I knew what to expect every weekend, every holiday, and every summer.
My immediate family has zero tradition, not one that I can even count for three years in a row. Our best was something we did for two years in a row, if I can even remember what it was. Our tradition-less life didn't even phase me until recently. One day, out of the blues, I wondered what and how Trinity sees Christmas? Sure, I wanted her to be flexible, but I also want to hear her talk about our family activities to her friends and children one day. What she remembers the family doing around Christmas, New Year, Halloween, and so on.
Needless to say, it has me worried in some ways lately about our tradition-less lives. On the positive note, we are flexible. Not to expect that someone can always be with us and to be independent emotionally and physically. As I send these messages to my children that they have to do certain things out of respect, and just because...I also encouraged them to be independent and exploratory. If they have a good excuse for their absence, I can be fine with it.
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Here are Self Sagacity's Thursday Two Questions #67:
1) Do you believe in having traditions around holidays, or gathering with your family?
2) Can you excuse your love ones from attending traditional gatherings?
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12 Comments
We have many traditions, and love when other family members join in. But, we don't care if they don't.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... we have traditions, but they are pretty simple. Church on Christmas Eve, pajamas under the tree when we get home from that. A big breakfast on Christmas morning. Stay in pjs all day. Big dinner.
ReplyDeleteJust being together is our tradition.
Amanda, first I am sorry about your Dad and losing someone on or near a holiday is always so difficult. I lost my Mom near July 4th so since then I've never really celebrated the 4th of July.
ReplyDelete1.We had many traditions while my parents were alive but now since they have both passed on, we basically just get together for dinner around the holidays.
2.Some members of my family can forgive others for not being in attendance and some cannot. For me, I realize everyone has their own lives and as a result should be able to spend the holidays the way they choose.
Spending time with anyone whether it be a family member or otherwise should not be an obligation.
Thanks for sharing this with us. While it is sad, it can also be an inspiration.
ReplyDeletethanks for stopping by my blog. Im your follower from before.
When I was growing up our family had many traditions for the Christmas holidays. My dad would always cook a big breakfast for us after the presents had been opened on Christmas morning. Then a big family gathering that afternoon.
ReplyDeleteYes! Our families are scattered all over so getting together is a rare event.
Sorry to hear about your father Amanda. My dad died from a heart attack two days after Christmas in 1983.
Some tradition is very comforting and it is not too late to start your own. Some of our NY traditions have been left behind, but we always gather together for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I used to have the children each list something they were grateful for as we said our Thanksgiving grace. We would read the Christmas story from the Bible before opening gifts and we celebrated Little Christmas in January. Those memories are treasured by us, but they do not keep them.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your dad. =( I lost my dad when I was 14.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comment on my blog! I "tagged" you in a recent post. If you want to check it out, it's here: http://crazymamasblog.blogspot.com/2011/12/tagged.html
Happy New Year!!
Just gathering around the Holidays is a tradition enough for me. Depends on the atmosphere and attitude, some time gathering can feel like a torture, and when it is like that, I rather not.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your dad. We don't have traditions to follow at holidays but we do have gatherings with family members. Yes.. I would excuse family from attending traditional gatherings as I feel that it shouldn't be forced upon people.
ReplyDeletewe did not have much tradition too when I was growing up, but I would love to believe that my parents rearing of us to be exploratory, respectful of others, productive, and enjoy living the basics of life are a tradition as well :)
ReplyDeleteThis post is beautiful. So open and heartfelt, which is why I return to your blog weekly. You amaze me and I am grateful you take the time to share your thoughts with us.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have much of a life before now with my children, so I didn't grow up with any traditions. Dh did but he isn't proactive about implementing them.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm flexible and little by little, we'll grow into our own.
I'm sorry about your dad passing. *HUG*
1. Traditions are great if they work for the family unit. It shouldn't be forced for show.
2. Yes I could. I'm able to be detached for many reasons.
Aloha!
Off to visit the others on the linky!
OOh Happy New Year!
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