Our Thursday Two Questions participants all agreed that my behavior described last week was nowhere near psychotic, which is a relief by the way. But, I definitely had been made to believe I was a crazy, an insane B - when I did what I had to, to find out what I needed to know in a male to female relationship. Maybe the word I was looking for wasn't psyhotic, but could it be obsessive? Temporarily insane? I planned to post a second part to what I called psyhotic/ insane behaviors, so here it goes. Some of the things I've experienced in my relationships were not nearly as bad or "ohmigosh" enough to compare with some of yours. And I am so very lucky in the love department so thank you so much for sharing. These weekly visits are like my theraphy, and I just love every minute of this meme. But back to the stuff that was done to me:
1) getting a chunk of my hair chopped off with box cutters while I was sleeping.
2) getting ice cold water pour on me while I was taking a warm shower.
3) the individual sitting in front of my house overnight, the whole night.
4) the individual broke into my work email and read all my emails.
5) being trapped and driven in a car until I gave up trying to break-up.
I could go on and on, but I would have to agree with all of you that sometimes we do these things out of the ordinary because of our temper, or just because we were so desperate.
Here are Self Sagacity's Thursday Two Questions #96
1) I am sure you could top off these behaviors, what are some of what you've experienced?
2) What would make you feel that you need to stay around if you had to live with these types of behaviors? We are excluding domestic violence.
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11 Comments
Firstly, those are some very obsessive/possessive behaviors and sort of scary to be around.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I had my share of just out of this world terrible, but I couldn't reveal them now or ever.
To answer your second question, for me it has to be the children that I put first on my list, but then it has to end some times as the children will grow up.
In a normal world. All these behaviors are borderline psycho to me. In that world, it all seems like everyday life.
DeleteChildren is the reason to stay and so is fear. The fear will keep us from venturing out from the trap.
Amanda, I have had many strange things done to me by exes such as having one get calling cards in my name and hand them out to his friends to call the Bahamas and so forth, had all my appliances stolen, been beaten, verbally abused, raped, had all my plants dumped in the incinerator, my pictures of the kids destroyed and their baby books, and many more things. The worse things were the things they did to our/my children. I would prefer to live alone rather than live through any of this again!!
ReplyDeleteCrazy. Who would hand out calling cards to friends, he must have had very low IQ or just a plain jackass!
DeleteAmanda, this is scary. First, I wouldn't stay one minute longer than what I felt was safe for me to leave. Second I ask for all of God's blessings for you. No one should have to endure or be subjected to any this.
ReplyDeleteI would not stay any longer than what I needed to be sure I was as safe as could be for anything that I can think of. Not for economics nor living quarters, not for any 'good days' that he might have, not for any promises that he might make and for sure not for any threats he might make. But be careful for your safety!
Any spousal abuse I might have sustained would have been verbal while she was angry. Probably I was supposed to be angry in return but that isn't my nature. I just get hurt feelings.
My mom was subject to some physical abuse as were us was I when growing up. All of a sudden Dad started to go to church and never hit my mom again that I knew of (he did punch me still a few times).
((((HUGS)))),
..
I've been married to my DH for 33 years and before this, we dated for almost 3 years. I have had very little experience dealing with an odd set of circumstances, except the boy I was dating prior to DH. He was a bit obcessed, but I was too young to know better. He was actually evil, but he did not want me to see my friends as he thought they were stupid. The truth of the matter is they were just young teenage girls who in fact are often times stupid behavioring, including myself. For a year, I allowed myself to be subjected to his control until I found out he was cheating on me and that was it. I ended things in blink of an eye. This was a good thing. As it turns out, this boy to the best of my knowledge is on his third marriage. I could've been one of these statistics if I had stayed in that relationship. God works in mysterious ways, does He not? =D Thanks for hosting, Amanda!
ReplyDeleteThose examples you mentioned are all abuse. It does not have to be violent to be abusive, it can also be mental abuse. I would not put up with any of it.
ReplyDeleteNone of what you described is "normal" behavior and I'm sure I'd be gone at the first instance. No one has the right to take away your comfort and hopefully, you wouldn't allow it to happen routinely.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is WOW.
ReplyDeleteThat first one has always been a fear of mine. It's just SO personal and vindicative!
I've dealt with my share of crazy in the past. And I agree with those who have commented before me - none of those activities are normal or acceptable in a relationship - they are abusive, manipulative, controlling, stalkerish - DANGEROUS. They are the types of things that as soon as you see the first signs of them - RUN as fast as you can in the other direction!
Those are so scary.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are out and here, stronger.
I've only been in one relationship.
2. If I had children in the relationship and I had to get a job and roof and steady before I can leave.
The women are usually at a disadvantage with being able to just get up and leave.
As everyone else has said above, none of that is normal behavior. I'm glad you got out of that relationship.
ReplyDeleteI have never had to deal with an abusive partner while dating or in a relationship. My sweet hubby thinks men who behave that way are cowards.
I can't think of anything that would make me feel like I had to stay. If there were children it would be all the more reason to leave.
Sorry I missed this week Amanda, I'll be back next week.
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