How I Learned of the KIMI Doll

The KIMI Doll, as Dustin explained, was to bring me sincerity,  authenticity and integrity. Be true to who I am, and attract the same honesty, integrity, and authenticity. Even though the symbol is idealistic and not something I could ever believe in. It was what I needed at the time to believe in the possibility of goodness.

Think about it. Have you ever had to comfort someone who is in the middle of a situation with no power to make any change at all? What would you say or do? Well, the simple answer is to find a symbol of something you wish for that person...and let that be the inspiration... like what Dustin did.

I received Sincerity from Dustin in late fall but I was so disgusted with the environment I was in that I did not want to bring her out for fear she would be contaminated. Yes. I felt as though I was reeked of enough disgust, so why have anything of mine absorb more of it?

But when the new year came, noticing that no matter what I'd tried, I was still in the same situation. I decided to bring Sincerity out to battle with me. I was ready to let Sincerity absorb some frustrations on my behalf, even if she burn like me, at least we'll suffer together.  I try not to be so loopy (believe in crazy shit), but the day later after I brought her to war... the news came that the battle would end in two weeks! Tears of joy blurred my vision. I couldn't believe it. A couple of days later, I realized because I believe, Sincerity had came through for me.

Setting all the human, mortal feelings of desperation aside. I want to recognize that more than anything I believe it was the doing of the highest power. The one and only who had the power to decide how my life was going to be in the new year. I talked to my God all the time about the situation. I asked him to assist me everyday. I also throw myself out there, doing whatever I can to help make change. I know in the end, unless God agreed it was time, nothing I did was going to matter.

I have never been that great of a catholic, but as I become more engaged with my churches and open my heart to the miracles I see happen, I am convinced "HE" has my life and my destiny in his hands. He will choose what to grant to me and what not. He might need me to speak up and tell him when I have had enough and when I need a break, but all in all, everything happened for a reason, and those reasons usually appear when you finally let go of your own insignificant emotions to accept the greater reasons why it happened to you.