Life with my other half is very calm. I am the only one that is good at stirring the pot, intentionally and unintentionally… yes I’m quite talented. Have you ever had the thought that you don’t know someone even after years of being together? Or he does something that bugs you, but you don't know how to let him know? I have to tell you that I have those thoughts…so...
Last year I decided to let him know what I thought and to find out what he thinks about me. I know it’s difficult to be honest, and no one can handle the truth. Yet, I wanted the bloody honest truth - even if it upsets me. I wanted to know how someone perceives me, because I often find it’s not even close to how "I thought" they've perceived me.
I made the cards below, one is ten things he loved about me, and the other is five things he hated about me. I also made a set of cards for me to fill out about him and our assignments were due on Valentine's day. I wanted to improve, and wanted a chance to encourage him to improve. I cared and wanted my relationship to be upfront.
In addition to the assignment, I planned a special dinner and bed and breakfast. I brought with me a bag full of tools like candles, rose petals, wine, and decorations etc. I had the evening planned out to details with a schedule. Yes, sometimes I like having a schedule to make sure we accomplish the goal.
In addition to the assignment, I planned a special dinner and bed and breakfast. I brought with me a bag full of tools like candles, rose petals, wine, and decorations etc. I had the evening planned out to details with a schedule. Yes, sometimes I like having a schedule to make sure we accomplish the goal.
It was very difficult for us to finish the five hate things, but we learned so much more about each other. We mixed two "I love(s)" to one "I hate" to keep the atmosphere loving and constructive. I was surprised to hear a few of the things he hated and loved me for, and of course like wise for him. We couldn't help but became defensive about the criticisms, but it was done lovingly. It was a chance for us to let out some of the things we might not have been able to say in an everyday setting. I loved how it turned out, and I don't think neither one of us could forget that night and the outcome of this great exercise. We had to be brave enough to say it and open minded to while listening to the other person's critiques. The exercise strengthened our communication and relationship, and thus I will be doing this again.
Happy Valentines Day!
9 Comments
happy valentine's day!
ReplyDeleteoh, what a very lovely idea, can I borrow? I mean use this too for me and my hubby :) I had been planning to do this, but I guess we both need time to stay at home which we hardly don't :( when weekdays, we're out to work, weekends, were out to enjoy, but i believe we should have time to reflect together like what you did, though we have a very fun and lovely relationship, but this will help a lot to make it a lot more better like what you said :)
ReplyDeleteAmanda, I agree with what you did. There are the good and the bad traits that we love and dislike between couples. This is very artistically done.
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's Day!
Oh I love this. You did handle this beautifully.Just last week there was a program on TV with a couple who didn't communicate, the lady who did the show let them write down what they loved and hated about each other. And it worked, they got together again.Thank you for mentioning my name on your blog. i am honoured.
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine and pink Saturday
Beautiful idea! I'm glad you both learn from each other greatly like that. It shows that both of you are WILLING participant, and committed to make it better!
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's Day to you and your family.
What a GREAT idea!! Happy PINK Saturday!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave. I am glad it worked out well for you. I'm not sure I could do that with mine. Happy New Years and Valentine's day.
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's Day! This is such a great idea and I'm glad it worked out well. You are right, most of the time it's hard to tell someone we love about the things we hate. Afraid to hurt his feelings or spark a fight.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Happy Tuesday!
Amanda, I think your relationship exercise is a winning idea! It seems to have worked out well for you and your other half, too, and that makes the effort a success.
ReplyDeleteHave a thought? Please leave a comment here, and I will return as soon as possible. Thanks - If you have a minute, why not check-out the sibbling of Self Sagacity.com Blogger Broadcast. Extra Links = Spam = Delete.